Friday 27 May 2011

Crowboroughs new great leader.


It was my intention to run down this blog but events in the town have caused me to change my mind.

First thing to mention is that Kay Moss has used her own casting vote to get herself another year as Mayor.In a move that Hitler or Stalin would have been proud of Leader Moss seems to think that the town cannot do without her leadership and has decided that she needs to retain power by any means she can.I think most people in the town are fed up with leader Moss and her lapdog husband spouting off rubbish about how good they are.In reality the only thing she is truly good at is running the town and its finances into the ground and the only thing lapdog is good at is thinking up more ecoloony methods of sending us back to the stone age.
It wont be long before all citizens will be summoned to the Council Bunker aka Town Hall to listen to the rantings of the great Leader flanked by Herman Lapdog telling us that we are at the dawn of a new 1000 year reich.Anyone who disagrees will be arrested by the new Gestapo PCSOs and never seen again.

To aid the Great Leader, Herman Lapdog has decided that we will all have to live in a depressing dark town because he has decided that all the street lights will be turned off.Obviously this wont make much difference now but come the winter we will all be literally in the dark.After the lights go out the Great Leader will declare a
curfew during the hours of darkness policed by seedy power crazed individuals who have sworn allegiance to her like the fingermen in V for Vendetta.

Like a crazed dictator the Leader is now looking for more allies to consolidate her position.Volunteer co opted councillors are being sought who will be vetted before appointment by Herman Lapdog under instruction from his Mrs the Great Leader.Once her position is consilidated The Great Leader will be able to push through any scheme she seees fit in order to maintain her position and achieve her aim of power over every aspect of our lives.Council meetings will be scrapped ,residents will have to be registered and CCTvs will be put up throughout the town to ensure we all proclaim our allegiance to the greatest leader this Town has ever seen.
The Great Leaders first speech follows.

"If I am ever really in power, the destruction of this town will be my first and most important job. As soon as I have power, I shall have gallows after gallows erected, for example, on Chapel Green and in the Country Park-as many of them as traffic allows. Then the dissenters will be hanged one after another, and they will stay hanging until they stink. They will stay hanging as long as hygienically possible. As soon as they are untied, then the next group will follow and that will continue until the last dissenter in Crowborough is exterminated."
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